If meddling was a sport, my family would be world champions. It drives me insane. More than insane. I truly can't imagine having so much interest in someone else's problems that I felt I had to stick my nose in and know every detail. Perhaps they don't have enough going on in their own lives? Who knows, but frankly, I'm sick of it. For instance, I had quite a blow out with my father the other day. It sucked, and I hate fighting with my family for any reason, and I'm still hurting. We've both apologized and I think we can eventually move on. Yes, I'm hurting. I said it. But I think that is reasonable. But what is NOT reasonable is the fact that now I'm hurting even worse because I know the rest of my family has been talking about something that has absolutely nothing to do with them. How do I know this? Because my cousin, who lives in a completely different state texted me last night to ask me about it. Not only the fact that we had the fight, but wanted details of something that doesn't even remotely pertain to her. Now, I don't blame her, because someone obviously had to contact her and tell her about the argument for her to even know about it. That's bad enough. But then she began to ask prying questions that I do not want to answer and that would just fuel the fire for the rest of my family if I did give my true, brutally honest opinion about things. However, I chose to plead the 5th. I have so many opinions I could write a book. But would someone take those opinions, misconstrue them as something that I'm stating as "fact", and spread my words like wildfire? Hell yes, they would. This is why I can no longer discuss my feelings or troubles with family members. Yes, this is sad. Yes, it sucks that I can't confide in them. But what sucks worse is the prying and meddling--involving oneself in a matter without RIGHT or INVITATION. It is absolutely unbeliveable.
The question is, what do I do? I have asked myself this all day. It has taken all I have in me not to call and chew someone out. I know that wouldn't be the right thing to do because a) it would accomplish nothing, b) I feel that there is more than one person to blame, c) I'm trying to rid myself of drama and this would just be fueling the drama fire, and d) I don't like doing anything in anger. And right now I'm very damn angry. And when I'm angry, I say stupid shit that makes no sense and that doesn't accomplish anything. So, I will keep my mouth shut and my head down for now. I probably need time to breathe anyway. I also know that this will forever be the way my family behaves and communicates. What's hideous is that they do it under the guise of wanting to "help".
Oh, and I'm sure that this blog post will fuel some fires, too. But what the hell...
What would you do?
Oh my gosh, what was the fight about and who's fault was it??? Just kidding, I know exactly what you are saying. Lots of times I want to say your own life is much more of a disaster than mine so butt out! Luckily this doesn't happen in my immediate family, but my extended family is a disaster. I've finally had to remove myself from it as much as possible. I even make up conflicts to not go to some parties. Isn't that awful?!? Hang in there, this one will blow over and you'll calm down and you'll know what you need to do to try to avoid in the future!
ReplyDeleteI'd talk to your dad. I'd say, "Listen dad, I'm sorry we had a fight but I thought it was between us. I don't know who has been talking about it... mom or whoever... but it doesn't help. Can't we just keep things between us? We're adults!" You're not unreasonable to be hurt.
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